Refugeenotes: what hasn’t changed in me during the war

I believe that it’s interesting to develop and change yourself. And often inner changes affect our lives as a whole. But not everything can be changed, some character traits, habits, features remain with us for a long time or forever. I have already written about what has changed in me during my stay in Northern Ireland. Now it’s time to figure out what hasn’t changed.

1. My relationships with friends. I was always grateful for my friends and considered them my family. Now I understand that it wasn’t in vain. If friends are known in trouble, mine have handled it very well.
2. My restlessness stayed with me. I try to be as productive as possible and if I stay at home and don’t go anywhere, I feel like I waste my time.
3. My ability to communicate with people. Although the current situation has increased my desire for privacy, I still know how to establish contact with strangers.
4. A realistic view of the world. I still soberly look at what is happening and try to evaluate myself and my actions without excessive hope (at the same time, I love to dream)
5. My English. Despite the fact that I have been here for almost 8 months, at the same time I communicate with people, read, write, go to free classes, I still don’t feel any progress in the language. It’s still standing on the same level as it was when I came here. 🤷

I think that in general there have been huge changes in me, but at the same time I have not lost the self that I love and appreciate so much. Yes, I became more anxious and nervous, but at the same time I remained a good friend, a kind and sympathetic person.
Do you think you’re very different from who you were 5/10 years ago?

36 Comments

  1. G D Ogilvie says:

    Yes I do, I’m certainly much more laid back and at peace with myself than I was 10 years ago.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Sofia says:

      It’s really important to be at peace with yourself 🙌

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Orca Flotta says:

        Yeah, being in peace with ourselves is not a problem but we must NEVER EVER be in peace with our stupid, antidemocratic, selfish and completely incompetent leaders!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Sofia says:

        I like this comment, but I think we see different meanings and different people in it 😀

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Orca Flotta says:

      Lucky naiive you. It’s just the opposite with me, the older I get the angrier I become. Particularly now, in a time when a handful of terrible leaders are destroying the western bubble from within and we all have to watch helplessly how our income and savings dwindle, the living standard is going down … and it’s not even winter yet! 😮 All that to show Putin that he was wrong?
      Fuck that!
      We all should get angry as hell and stand behind Russia in this affair!
      Germany and the EU are selling us down the river, in Washington they are laughing all the way to the bank. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Adelheid says:

    A lot has happened 5 years ago and there’s so much change but at the same time, some areas that needs improvement. And which I should start working on. 😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sofia says:

      We all have something to work on. But we also need to love and accept ourselves and live at peace with ourselves 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Adelheid says:

        Right about that, Sofia.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. MNSKY says:

    Your writing, in English, has clearly improved since your first post…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sofia says:

      Ahah, I disagree with it but thank you. It motivates me to try harder 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  4. rose2852 says:

    I figure I’m pretty much who I was 5-10 years ago, maybe a little less tolerant of cold callers spamming me with services I don’t want! (got another one yesterday) Your English is very good although I would have expressed some things in this post differently. I’d be happy to edit it for you (you have my email address).

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sofia says:

      Yeah that kind of calls can really be annoying 🙈

      And I don’t think I need editing yet. That way I can be more like myself, even if I make a lot of mistakes. Maybe when (if) I work in the magazine, I’ll ask you for help. But anyway thank you 🤗🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rose2852 says:

        No problem, apologies if I was too forward :). Living in Australia has done it to me, ha ha!
        Being yourself is important. Last year, I was involved in a project that paired writers with migrants wanting to tell their stories of settling into a new country. The stories are written largely as they were told to the writers (I was one, as well as an editor on the project), with verbatim quotes left intact even if they weren’t word perfect. If you’re interested, check them out here https://someplaceinsydney.wordpress.com/2022/06/27/settlement-journeys-stepping-into-a-new-world/.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Yes I know for a fact I am different in some ways from ten years ago. Change is good and even in our flaws we must embrace ourselves. The good and the bad. We learn and we grow from everything. That’s what makes us human. Peace and bliss to you always!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sofia says:

      Yes, we definitely develop and change throughout life, but it is important always to be kind and supportive to ourselves. Thank you 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  6. DyutiM says:

    What you are doing with these posts, consciously or not, is a wonderful strategy for anxious individuals. Taking stock of what changes and what remains the same is one of the best ways to ground oneself when everything around us seems overwhelming and out of control. I particularly find these types of exercises very helpful when I am going through a negative thought spiral. Happy healing!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sofia says:

      I just like to organize everything and sort out the details of my life 😄 But yes, it really helps to write it here.
      Thank you 🔅

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Priti says:

    Beautiful article yes I think I have changed a lot ! Getting old not feeling good at everything like earlier ☺️ well shared thanks 😊👍

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sofia says:

      Thank you 🤗

      Like

      1. Priti says:

        My pleasure 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  8. elsabeskryf says:

    This is huge… that you didn’t loose yourself in the whole war-thing and disruption in your life. Well done. It is huge to acknowledge all these ‘the same’ and ‘I changed’ – to stay in tact with yourself. I realize in your writing, that not everybody will have your courage and wisdom. I hope there is a lot of refugee’s that read your posts. They can really benefit from it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sofia says:

      Thank you 🤗

      Like

  9. Writing is a good form of therapy. Maybe it just causes a person to slow down and think a little more carefully.
    Regardless, I’ve come to the conclusion that it isn’t possible to plan out ten years into the future. The world changes, and all we can do is try our best to change with it. But it certainly helps to have a human connection.
    Your written English is excellent… though I have a hard time reading low contrast web-pages. And as noted above, it’s improved noticeably from your earliest posts.
    And I like your hair. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sofia says:

      Thank you 🤗🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Carolyn Page says:

    Hi Sofia,
    Yes, I do believe I am quite different to years past, even last year! Change, for me, is something I relish. Life would be so boring if it wasn’t for changing our mindset, our understandings; even our appearance! Becoming more peaceful, more accepting of others beliefs can be, and is for me, an absolute necessity if I am to be happy with me.
    I must say that I admire your strength of character that has held you up over the past daunting period in your life.
    Well done!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sofia says:

      Thank you 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  11. There is a saying Sofia that “Time is a great healer” so I hope that time will definitely cure your pain someday and you will be able to be normal 🤗✌

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sofia says:

      I feel much more better now than few months ago so yes this saying is right ☺️
      And thank you 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  12. locksley2010 says:

    I’m a lot more settled in myself and have become very conscious in how I use my time now. Whereas ten years ago I was trying to wear too many “hats” and do too many things all at once…. It’s a great way to burn yourself out. Now, I consider if something is worth my time or not and not afraid to say no! 😆

    Your written English is excellent by the way, so no problem there. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sofia says:

      That’s exactly what I’m doing now. I spend a lot of time on everything at once. I thought that this way I would be able to decide what I really liked, but now I understand that this way I am just become very tired and it doesn’t help me to understand myself better.
      So you’re right. Thank you 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  13. locksley2010 says:

    As someone who learned the hard way, you’re very welcome! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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